I nearly embarrassed myself very badly yesterday at Costco.
I was in line behind a very skinny woman with a very pregnant belly. Her belly was huge and it appeared that baby was going to just pop out any day now.
I was about to say, “How long till the baby arrives?” or something along those lines, but then I stopped myself.
And boy, am I glad I did! A moment later I looked in her grocery cart and there was a brand-new, maybe-two-day-old baby!!
The woman had already HAD the baby. What I was seeing was the “after-effect!”
I was so happy I’d kept my mouth shut.
In fact, to be honest with you, I never, ever, EVER ask a woman when her baby is due. I haven’t in years. Unless I have been told (by an extremely reliable source) that she is pregnant, I don’t say a word.
Years ago, when we were stationed in Kansas, we attended a church in the town of Manhattan. We had some other Army friends who went there, too, and we always sat with the same married couple. Their names were Ginger and Reid and they were both officers in the Army.
Anyway, one Sunday morning, we were all sitting towards the front of the church when it came to that point in the service where you turn around and greet the people near you. As we were shaking hands, Ginger noticed a woman directly behind us who had an enormous pregnant belly. As they shook hands, Ginger said, “When are you due?”
To all of our horror, the woman looked at Ginger and said, with a dead serious look on her face, “I am not pregnant.”
I think you could hear all of us stop breathing.
Luckily for us, the service began again at that moment and the four of us turned back to face the front of the church. None of us knew what to do. I’m sure we all wanted to walk out and go home. We were so embarrassed. We kept sneaking each other sideways glances, not daring to turn around again.
On the way home, I said to Rob, “Do you think she has a gigantic tumor in her stomach? What else could make her look that way?”
“I don’t know,” Rob said. “But that was really, really, really embarrassing.”
About two weeks later, it was announced from the pulpit that the woman had given birth to a healthy baby boy.
I wanted to kill her.
She’d been kidding and never hinted to us that it was a joke.
To this day, Rob and I often talk about how mortified we all were.
Still, even though that woman may have been kidding, I learned my lesson that day.
Just because a woman may look very, very, very pregnant does not mean she is.
It doesn’t matter how skinny the rest of her body is or how big her belly is.
I ain't sayin’ nuttin’.
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